Yesterday I was informed that there would be traces of snow around,
I groaned and complained thinking
oh no not that damn cold slushy substance again.
But I took comfort in the fact that there were only traces.
Next morning I wake up gorgy, moody and cranky, not wanting
at all to go to school feeling like my day had already started from the wrong
foot, I felt like something was going to pull me down.
When I made my way upstaris and looked through my big kitchen
window that overlooked the nieghboured and the outside, I swore.
I cursed out aloud all the profanities I could think of at the top of my head.
Because Guess what? It was fucking snowing and those sure didn’t
look like damn traces to me, but more like a heavy snow storm.
I knew when I took a step outside that my feeling earlier,
had not been false at all, my gut just knew. The fact that it snowed
put a huge damper on my mood, and I just wanted to annihilate snow,
so badly I was starting to think I was going crazy. Now I’m sure being
crazy and schizo -as my friend tells me I am- at the same time isn’t good.
Basically I felt like a ragged doll all day, restless and tired. Just looking
at the outside world made me want to shut myself off in a dark room
so as not to see the thick sheen of white covering the flowers, the tress,
the grass, the houses, the everything. I hate snow it is my arch
nemesis and so is winter, yet I’ve lived through it all my life
though I dearly wish I wouldn’t, have to. The weather made me
die on the inside today and it will tomorrow to, so long
as it will continue snowing in spring.
I kill snow or it kills me that’s what it comes down to in the end.